In Anatomy of a Creeptown, Part 1, I brokedown the definition of a creeptown, and rolled out the number one indication that you might be involved with one – the molestache. [pronounced molest-ache]
(note: there is a very distinct difference between the mustache and the molestache, please refer to my previous post so that you are completely clear on this matter)
Once again, life as a banker exposes me to hundreds of America’s finest each and every day. This not only provides me with much concern about the general intelligence levels of our society, but also allows me to have a heightened sense of creeptown detection. I will now dispense the second installment of my knowledge.
Although there are hundreds of indicators that you might be dealing with a creeptown such as:
*long fingernails
*lazy eyes
*names like Chester
*profuse sweating
the main issue I’d like to address is conversion vans. If anyone rolls up in a conversion van, remember the words i am saying to you: you betta run. and run like you’re life depends on it. cus maybe, just maybe, it does.
Conversion vans can allude to a plethera of creeptown activities including:
1. kidnapping
2. molesting
3. robbing
4. carnies
5. lonely retired men who live inside
Thought to ponder: if the back of a vehicle is large enough to contain a meth lab, its certainly large enough to contain you.
“come on in, i’ve got some candy in the back”
HEY LOL I HAVE CANDY GET IN THE VAN
Whew! So far, so good.
Laziness is not the same as lazy eyes, is it?
paul… no… its not the same. if that were the case, this world would be so creepy that i would have to stay inside all the time.
If you give away all of the trade secrets, how are creeps supposed to survive?
i feel it is my call of duty to expose each and every creepy practice.
Aw, c’mon, you big meanie. What if their one and only life’s dream was to own a shaggin’ wagon?!
it can be their dream. but it doesn’t make them any less of a creeptown.
We should write a screenplay called “Creeptown”. Just like Ghost Town, but instead of being disenchanted teens, they’ll be disenchanted pedos. I think there could be a market for it…
Oh yea these vans have Ted Bundy written all over them…run like you stole something is what my mama told me…creeptown, love it. Many a creeptowns running amok. thanks for the laugh! :)N
jordan, yes we could write a screenplay. i’m all about it. i always wanted to. in fact, we wouldn’t have to do much research because my very own life is scattered with tons of creeptowns all throughout the years.
nikki, Ted Bundy… yes. I remember that name. i believe i did a persuasive speech on him in college as to why the death penalty should be allowed. pretty nasty guy that Ted. pretty sure i got an A
hey! thanks for stopping by my blog. i’m glad i had a chance to check out yours!
[…] here for part 2 of Anatomy of a Creeptown : Conversion vans. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Anatomy of a Creeptown Part 2: […]
BUT, he said he had a puppy? 🙂 This was quite amusing.
“and run like you’re life depends on it.”
Maybe you should write an article on illiteracy.
Gimme a break! Comments like this coming from a BANKER?!!! I dont k now about the rest of you, but I fear bankers a whole lot more than van people…Vans are coming back and hard!
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Garter, Stockings and Suspender Belt – You may not usually wear suspenders and stockings and don’t feel obliged even though it’s your wedding day.
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In Level 3, you finally track down the murderer.
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