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Archive for the ‘poli-tics me off’ Category

ATTENTION ladies and gentlemen of the jury, quiet observers, those who own Michael Bolton casettes and those who do not, feminists, starving artists, democrats, members of PETA, fake blondes, and innocent by-standers:

Some of you may or may not know that there is a large gathering of democrats out west this week.  I guess you could even call it a “convention” of sorts.  I just need to steal a moment of your time to make a formal announcement.  Hilary, I know you are a very, very busy pantsuit-wearing feminazi, but I especially need you to pay attention to this …  As I was laying in my bed tonight, all of the sudden, pieces of glass started falling on my blanket.  At first, I was confused because I didn’t even know my ceiling was made of glass-or that it was so terribly high?  I mean, I’m able to vote and own land and start businesses and go to school past the age of 8…I had no idea.  From my understanding, you put 18 million cracks in it, which sounds like a bit of a hazard.  And seriously Hilrod?  I need to get some sleep here- not to mention, the obvious health and safety risks associated with said cracking glass ceiling.  [Also, will the price to replace my ceiling be included in the new universal healthcare plan?  I wasn’t quite sure where that would fit…]

 

“Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it and the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time.” -Hilary Clinton [or some speech-writer guy]

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Apparently, America has officially decided that this isn’t such a good idea, and Barack Obama has finally snagged the Democratic nomination.    

:::yawn:::   

 ::::crickets::::   

::::zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz::::

 

 

 talk about a blindside.  

Although everyone seems to be basking in the afterglow of this revelation, I think we are turning a blind eye to the real issue in our midst.  could there be a little hanky panky going on behind the scenes?  could these vicious attacks on one another be nothing more than pent up sexual tension on the rise?  could they be none other than two star-crossed senators in this great big, cruel and loveless political race?

 i don’t strive to break news, it just happens.

“if you come any closer Senator, I can’t promise that i will control my urges.”

 

MEMO: Now Barack, if you could just work on expanding your vocabulary to include words other than “change…” that would be awesome. thanks.

for more news on the Obama saga, check out “Obama Quits Church?”

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I don’t know if you guys have heard of Barack Obama, but he’s been in the news a bit lately.  Something to do with votes.  I don’t know.  Well, in spite of the fact that he has been attending Trinity United Church every week for the past sixteen years, was married there,  had his kids baptized there, and benefited from their financial support of his campaign -he has decided to cancel his membership.  Apparently, now the radical-ness is getting a bit too radical.  This decision was due to Obama attempting to break ties to Trinity’s former pastor Jeremiah Wright, who could be indeed classified as a Stage 5 Crazypants. 

 (Obama and Wright) “smile while you can Jerry, we won’t always be this happy.” 

“This is not a decision I come to lightly and frankly it’s one I make with some sadness,” says Obama.  Don’t worry, he still loves God.  But church isn’t in his best interest right now.  Once again, something to do with votes. 

 I’m not so sure. 

Then, just as the dust had appeared to settle, enter Michael Pfleger

—————->

who has put all the other crazypants in the land to shame. Pfleger,  whom the Catholic Church is trying to deny every knowing, recently accused Hilary of espousing “white entitlement” and also stated that “a black man’s stealing my show” during his speaking engagement at Trinity. 

 

 

{{{ siiiiiiiiiiiigh  }}}

 

For an up to date briefing on Obama’s new love interest visit here

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