Like sands through the hourglass…
So are the days of my existence.
Go grab any flavor of Sun Chips (of course, you’ll be hard pressed to find ranch around here because that is some nasty crap), turn on some smooth jazz (I feel my blogs read best when set to this type of music), open your minds (and your hearts), and grab a seat in this virtual conference center because it’s time for a little Q&A with the Elephant.
- Why do you call yourself the elephant?
Well, I came up with a ton of clever and amazingly witty blog names. Unfortunately, so did all of the other people who had already taken them. So then I just tried to think of something NO ONE would ever want or have. Well I did. But now, I don’t even want it because, seriously, what kind of a name is The Daily Elephant? Plus, I get bored easily. Which means, eventually, I will completely rename this when I convert to a real website.
- When you were 18, did you really empty out your savings account and fly to Mexico with a girl that you knew for only 5 days?
The way you word that it makes me sound so irresponsible. And yes, I did. And we lived in a dorm in the mountains, (in Veracruz) where I accidentally used the water to brush my teeth and got amoebic dysentery. Thats what I get for heeding the advice of my dentist. I spent my days trying to teach the locals how to say Walmart (which was endlessly amusing and futile since they can’t pronounce the letter “W”), and having random people with Virgin Mary statues on their dashboards take us to see various pyramids and Mayan ruins. There was one picture in that entire dorm and it was of Charlie Chaplin.
- Did you really drop out of college? did Bill Gates drop out of college?
- And massage therapy school? does your mom make a mean casserole?
- And every other program you’ve ever started? does the sight of Neil Diamond send shivers down my spine?
- Why do you hate Neil Diamond so much?
Please refer to 9 Reasons to Hate Neil Diamond (if you don’t already)
- Who is Kenny from “The Kenny Chronicles?”
Kenny is the fake name for my best guy friend. He’s the marshmallow in my hot chocolate.
- Did you really go to school in London and end up meeting a Britsh guy who moved to America for you and then turned out to be a multi-millionaire / heroin addict?
Seriously, what is this the Spanish Inquisition? I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question.
- Did your “too-italian” ex-boyfriend really coerce you to enter a beauty pageant for scholarship money?
Wait, we haven’t talked about that yet.
- But why would he do that when you can’t sing, dance, play an instrument, have no hand-eye coordination or experience, and hate beauty pageants?
That’s a good observation. And probably why I dumped him on top of the Eiffel Tower.
You seem to dump alot of guys. Do you just happen upon inappropriate men, or do you suffer from a fear of committment?
You must be new here.