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Posts Tagged ‘barack obama’

Ladies and Gentlemen,

If I could please turn your attention toward the stage as we are joined by the specialest of special guests tonight: Nostradamus.  I am aware that many of you feel concerned about the future in these times of uncertainty, thus, I have invited him to come and ease your minds with his wealth of prophetic knowledge. 

nostradamus

Nostradamus predictions for 2009:

1. The US government will realize it was a ludacris assumption that they can save every species of obscure Arctic creature and drill for oil.  Consequently, they will relinquish their struggle with the middle east and throw themselves at their mercy once and for all.   Convinced that no amount of national security and financial independence is worth sacrificing  a clear conscience (or an animal), all government officials will sleep soundly.

jonas-brothers-skinny-jeans2.  The Jonas Brothers, having finally lost their longstanding fight against puberty, will awake to find they no longer fit into their skinny jeans.   Feeling confused and displaced,  they will retreat and seek solice in Hanson, the brotherly singing trio who had so courageously gone before them.

3.  NASA will spend millions to develop groundbreaking technology, which will allow people to scam the welfare system in a more discrete and successful manner and quite possibly allow other countries to locate every secret weapon system that we have.

4.  People will come out in droves to celebrate the historical inauguation of Barack Obama.  Oprah will celebrate by sporting a new hair weave and kick- starting a brand new diet plan that incorporates breakfast smoothies and lard sandwiches.

miley-cyrus-vanity-fair5.  Miley Sirus will again be “accidentally revealing”  during a photo shoot, which will result in Disney finally giving her the axe.  Then she will ball her achy-breaky eyes out and start the inevitable downward spiral of her once promising childhood career.

6.  Nick Lachey will come up with yet another completely horrible way to cash in on any remaining fans that he might possibly be able to muster up.  An endeavor that will fail miserably.

7. GM and Ford will finally receive the bailout of their dreams.  After billions have been spent to keep everyone employed, the world will realize their cars still suck and they will go under anyway.  This will further push China into world domination.

 

 My dear friends, I hope these insights will bring you much peace of mind and happiness in the New Year.  For I would not have thought it so important to come back from the dead unless we were at this truly critical point in history.

Profetically Yours,

Nostradamus

www.wordsbybrit.com

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On a quick political sidenote:

There’s a specific reason that I leave all the politics talk to Nikki.   I make it a point to educate myself on a variety of important issues throughout the world – I study them, research them, and actually understand what scary words like “bureaucracy” mean.  So the reason I can’t discuss them is because I simply can’t deal with people whose entire opinion of the world is based on the Yahoo homepage, the ticker tape at the bottom of CNN, their parents, or what they read on their favorite celebrity’s myspace blog.  That being said, 99% of the people I know fit into this category.  Unfortunately,  talking to people of this nature, thrusts me into a blind frenzy of rage; therefore, it is in the best interest of my overall health that I refrain from these conversations when at all possible.  I will, however, criticize and poke fun of all apects of the political arena, whenever I see fit.

 

Gosh dang it, you remind me of someone but I can’t quite put my finger on it..

no... thats not it.

 

God no.

God no.

definately not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Oh well, maybe I’ll think of it tomorrow.

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Apparently, America has officially decided that this isn’t such a good idea, and Barack Obama has finally snagged the Democratic nomination.    

:::yawn:::   

 ::::crickets::::   

::::zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz::::

 

 

 talk about a blindside.  

Although everyone seems to be basking in the afterglow of this revelation, I think we are turning a blind eye to the real issue in our midst.  could there be a little hanky panky going on behind the scenes?  could these vicious attacks on one another be nothing more than pent up sexual tension on the rise?  could they be none other than two star-crossed senators in this great big, cruel and loveless political race?

 i don’t strive to break news, it just happens.

“if you come any closer Senator, I can’t promise that i will control my urges.”

 

MEMO: Now Barack, if you could just work on expanding your vocabulary to include words other than “change…” that would be awesome. thanks.

for more news on the Obama saga, check out “Obama Quits Church?”

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I don’t know if you guys have heard of Barack Obama, but he’s been in the news a bit lately.  Something to do with votes.  I don’t know.  Well, in spite of the fact that he has been attending Trinity United Church every week for the past sixteen years, was married there,  had his kids baptized there, and benefited from their financial support of his campaign -he has decided to cancel his membership.  Apparently, now the radical-ness is getting a bit too radical.  This decision was due to Obama attempting to break ties to Trinity’s former pastor Jeremiah Wright, who could be indeed classified as a Stage 5 Crazypants. 

 (Obama and Wright) “smile while you can Jerry, we won’t always be this happy.” 

“This is not a decision I come to lightly and frankly it’s one I make with some sadness,” says Obama.  Don’t worry, he still loves God.  But church isn’t in his best interest right now.  Once again, something to do with votes. 

 I’m not so sure. 

Then, just as the dust had appeared to settle, enter Michael Pfleger

—————->

who has put all the other crazypants in the land to shame. Pfleger,  whom the Catholic Church is trying to deny every knowing, recently accused Hilary of espousing “white entitlement” and also stated that “a black man’s stealing my show” during his speaking engagement at Trinity. 

 

 

{{{ siiiiiiiiiiiigh  }}}

 

For an up to date briefing on Obama’s new love interest visit here

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