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so i’m waiting for the elevator to pick me up.

holding my cell phone and a tupperware of soup. 

I decided that although I only have a mere half hour lunch, it’s better to spend it outside than in my cubicle.  that way, at least when people say “wow, have you ever seen such a beautiful day?!”  i won’t have to respond with “i have no clue what you’re talking about, for all i know, we just had another monsoon out there.” 

Finally, the door opens. 

much to my surprise, there is a middle-aged man facing me in the kind-of-scary, very 70’s elevator.  I walk in, glance at the buttons, and turn to face the door.  while i’m standing there, i look at the ceiling and spot the far too outdated inspection permit. 

now, i’m not an expert on identifying what accents correspond with what ethnicities, etc.  so i’ll just tell you that i have no idea where this guy was from, and i was very confused. 

 

elevator guy: (glances at my soup) “lunch huh?”

me: (glances at soup) “yup.”

total and utter silence

silence so severe that for the first time, i wished there were elevator music to listen to.

silence so silent that i could hear children being born in the Czech Republic.

elevator guy: “well, ya gotta have it.”

me: (not sure how to respond to the most obvious statement of all time) “yup.”

elevator guy:  “its one of those things.”

me: “wow, look at that. this elevator hasn’t been inspected since 1988.”

[end elevator ride]

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