Posts Tagged ‘food’

The other day, when I was hard at work on the internet,  I accidentally came across a salad recipe that commanded my undivided atttention.  I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not one of those birds who eats salads and drinks skim milk.  I had just polished off an entire box of Peppermint ice cream (cus you have to get enough while it’s still in season) when I came across the recipe.   And it fit my criteria perfectly – it had linguini in it.  Cus if I’m going to have salad, you better believe there’s gotta be some pasta in there somewhere.


Unfortunately, this salad is so unique and appealing that it contains not one solitary ingredient that I actually own.  So I make the list of random ingredients that I’ll only use half of and then have to throw away because I don’t make anything else cool enough to warrant such ingredients as “nappa cabbage.”   So I send the boyfriend to the store.  He was going ANYWAY, chill out. 

He comes back, and a shock of excitement runs through my veins as I think of the new creation I will be making.  Oddly, he walked in with one bag.  I was thinking, huh, that just doesn’t seem like it would have enough stuff in it for this salad.  Then, I start to put the stuff away and this is the following conversation:

me: um, honey, why isn’t there any of the ingredients in here?

him: well, when i got there they were remodeling the store and they had everything moved around. 

me:  but there was still food there, right? 

him:  yea, but I couldn’t find anything.

me: so you couldn’t manage to find ONE ingredient on my list, yet you were able to navigate through the terrain and locate the frozen pizza and the Coke zero?

him:  no.  i got you cilantro.

me:  oh, thats right.  thank you.  but WHAT THE HECK am I supposed to do with a gigantic bunch of cilantro?


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Unfortunately, pomegranites are also the new disfunctional relationship.  We sense there’s something worthwhile deep down inside, but there’s just to much crap to go through in order to get to it.

But we’ll still try.  God knows, until we are old, grey, and in a mental institution…we will still try.


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The bigger issue is why are so many of you interested in this seemingly grotesque and morbid story?  Is the Clinton/Obama Lifetime Mini-Series no longer holding your attention?  Do you not even bat an eyelash at the fact that there’s some kind of a natural disaster occurring in every province of every country on every continent EVERY DAY and people all over are dying of manageable diseases?  Is the fact that fitty cent’s house went up in flames not even a blip on your radar? 



Are you not even slightly disturbed at the fact that George Clooney is literally INCAPABLE of maintaining a relationship and has now discarded yet another poor, dillusional damsel, Sarah Larson,—————–>

whom he not only flung from a motorcycle last year rendering her gimpster of the year at many a tinsle town event, but also knocked up?






No?  all that interests you is people being laid to rest in Pringle cans?  Man. Tough Crowd.


Well there are just some days that you gotta wish you were born in Ohio.  and today is one of those days my friends. Why, you ask?  Because that’s where the idea of curved Pringles being packaged in a tube was born.  Frederic Baur, an organic chemist of Cinncinnati, OH, patented the container idea back in 1966.


His lifelong wish was to have his ashes buried in one of his Pringle cans. 


Frederic, you have my deepest respect, forever and always. 

But all i have to say is, was it at least

the cheddar flavor? 

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