Posts Tagged ‘obama’

Aretha Franklin definately commanded some respect for her hat and for her performance of the national anthem at the Presidential Inauguration. 




Unfortunately, it commanded so much respect that Obama had to bring some of the attention back on himself.


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barack-obama-inaugurationToday, when they announced the President-elect, they opted out of saying his middle name.  Instead they said Barack “H” Obama.  Now, come on, what is so bad about Hussein?    It’s not like it has a bad conotation.

Seriously though, on this very historical Presidential Inauguration, I want to say thank you President Bush, and I wish you all the best President Obama.  Oh, and I’m especially siked today because my cell phone plan renews, and wow, I was getting close to going over.






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My Fellow Americans,

I just received word from BOTH the Obama and McCain campaigns. They are asking me to poll the American public and find out what’s really on your mind.  It’s time to exercise your right as an American citizen, and cast your vote below!

[for some reason the poll has disappeared.  but this is what it said]

1. the fact that you have to assume thousands of dollars of debt so you can struggle through 4 years of college, but then still end up working in a customer service job ‘cus you have “no real experience”

2. why environmentalists think that saving a polar bear is more important than retrieving our own oil so we don’t go broke and become taken over by the middle east

3. why high school graduates can disect a sentence but have no clue how to balance a checkbook or file their taxes

4.  why Rosie O’Donell is still allowed to live here

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On a quick political sidenote:

There’s a specific reason that I leave all the politics talk to Nikki.   I make it a point to educate myself on a variety of important issues throughout the world – I study them, research them, and actually understand what scary words like “bureaucracy” mean.  So the reason I can’t discuss them is because I simply can’t deal with people whose entire opinion of the world is based on the Yahoo homepage, the ticker tape at the bottom of CNN, their parents, or what they read on their favorite celebrity’s myspace blog.  That being said, 99% of the people I know fit into this category.  Unfortunately,  talking to people of this nature, thrusts me into a blind frenzy of rage; therefore, it is in the best interest of my overall health that I refrain from these conversations when at all possible.  I will, however, criticize and poke fun of all apects of the political arena, whenever I see fit.


Gosh dang it, you remind me of someone but I can’t quite put my finger on it..

no... thats not it.


God no.

God no.

definately not.











 Oh well, maybe I’ll think of it tomorrow.

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Apparently, America has officially decided that this isn’t such a good idea, and Barack Obama has finally snagged the Democratic nomination.    






 talk about a blindside.  

Although everyone seems to be basking in the afterglow of this revelation, I think we are turning a blind eye to the real issue in our midst.  could there be a little hanky panky going on behind the scenes?  could these vicious attacks on one another be nothing more than pent up sexual tension on the rise?  could they be none other than two star-crossed senators in this great big, cruel and loveless political race?

 i don’t strive to break news, it just happens.

“if you come any closer Senator, I can’t promise that i will control my urges.”


MEMO: Now Barack, if you could just work on expanding your vocabulary to include words other than “change…” that would be awesome. thanks.

for more news on the Obama saga, check out “Obama Quits Church?”

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The bigger issue is why are so many of you interested in this seemingly grotesque and morbid story?  Is the Clinton/Obama Lifetime Mini-Series no longer holding your attention?  Do you not even bat an eyelash at the fact that there’s some kind of a natural disaster occurring in every province of every country on every continent EVERY DAY and people all over are dying of manageable diseases?  Is the fact that fitty cent’s house went up in flames not even a blip on your radar? 



Are you not even slightly disturbed at the fact that George Clooney is literally INCAPABLE of maintaining a relationship and has now discarded yet another poor, dillusional damsel, Sarah Larson,—————–>

whom he not only flung from a motorcycle last year rendering her gimpster of the year at many a tinsle town event, but also knocked up?






No?  all that interests you is people being laid to rest in Pringle cans?  Man. Tough Crowd.


Well there are just some days that you gotta wish you were born in Ohio.  and today is one of those days my friends. Why, you ask?  Because that’s where the idea of curved Pringles being packaged in a tube was born.  Frederic Baur, an organic chemist of Cinncinnati, OH, patented the container idea back in 1966.


His lifelong wish was to have his ashes buried in one of his Pringle cans. 


Frederic, you have my deepest respect, forever and always. 

But all i have to say is, was it at least

the cheddar flavor? 

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