Posts Tagged ‘richard simmons’

Much in the same way a late night infomercial can mesmerize even the most disenchanted observer, I am about to mesmerize you with my savvy knowledge of life and relationships. 

richard-simmons-working-outOnly one more day until you are free from your past.  It’s time to grab hold of your future and ride it into the sunset.  What a better opportunity than now to encourage you all to go out and spend grandiose amounts of newly-attained Christmas cash on some fashionable work out gear.  Then, along with all the other dillusionally optimistic fake-dieters, you can show up once or twice to dust off your gym membership that will inevitabley grow extinct again come February.  Hurry up and do it before Richard’s shorts get tighter!

Along with working out and reflecting up on your current relationship the Elephant also suggests that you clean out your underware drawer.  I mean, would it kill you to weed some of those out?  I’m sure you can find some good deals a fresh pair of undies right about now…. just food for thought.


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