have you recently found yourself mid-conversation and realized that you have taken a sudden turn to Creeptown?
Define CreepTown you say?
[Cr-eee-p T-oun]: 1. one who makes another’s skin crawl 2. to act in an unbelievably awkward manner 3. the science of being creepy 4. one who possesses a molestache
**Well, this is the first installment of a two-part series in which we will help you determine if you are setting up camp in a Creeptown near you:
1. the molestache.
[mol-e-stache]
If we take a look at mustaches throughout the ages, we can easily see that the simple addition of facial hair can have an uncanny ability to transition any ordinary lad into a raging creep. Do not be fooled by the Tom Selleck’s of the world and their unassuming upper lip sweaters. It is but merely a smoke signal far off in the distance of what will soon blossom into a fullgrown creeptown. see examples below:
can you guess who these promising young saplings are?
these young mustache-less boys appear to be completely normal at first glance. their hopes are high. the sky is the limit. there’s nothing on their horizon except everything. .. and its all fun and games
until one day, when this…
turns into this:
a) jeffrey dahmer b) sadaam hussein c) charles manson d) hitler e) ron jeremy f) michael jackson
so now i raise the ever obvious question… what do all these CreepTowns have in common?
i think if you search deep inside you’ll find you knew the answer all along.
knowlege is power.
Click here for part 2 of Anatomy of a Creeptown : Conversion vans.
Luckily, being the amazing male specimen that I am, I do not have to deal with the male creeps. Believe me, I am not envious of your position, although I cannot understand why someone as awesome as Ron Jeremy is on your list. By all accounts he is a really nice guy, and I thought that’s what you women want? Or is that just what you say you want, and really you just mean “Really hot guy that isn’t a COMPLETE douche… but some doucheness is acceptable”?
Man, women are impossible. You should try dating one sometime and you’ll see what I mean.
I have to admit that I feel kind of weird being the first person to comment on any of your blogs, but I’m sure I’ll get over it. Maybe I’ll start a trend or something, being the trendsetter that I am…
brandon, brandon, brandon. first of all, are you basing your idea of “nice guy ” off of the surreal life? when’s the last time you spoke with Mr. Jeremy? isn’t it bad enough that he has two first names?
i love you for leaving the first comment, its always a bold move.
i’m glad we have a blog to banter back and forth upon.
“Surreal” includes the word “real”… so that counts for something, right? I mean, if I can’t believe everything on the TV, what can I believe? It’s the only way I can possibly explain why the man with two first names has had sex with more girls than everyone I know… combined.
I look forward to the banter. It’s a shame you’re never on IM anymore though, those were always the best. It’s good to see that your sense of humor is still around though, that’s for sure.
the fact that Ron Jeremy has had sex with anyone, is a raging mystery to me.
[…] part 1 of Anatomy of a Creeptown, I identified the definition of a creeptown, and rolled out the number one indication that you […]
I think Brandon is correct, Ron is a legend(i think), anyway i wonder how you could say his name in the same breaths as you’d call Wacko or Hitler…….Ron is proper and most of all he’s as nuts as the rest of the twits in the list.