ATTENTION ladies and gentlemen of the jury, quiet observers, those who own Michael Bolton casettes and those who do not, feminists, starving artists, democrats, members of PETA, fake blondes, and innocent by-standers:
Some of you may or may not know that there is a large gathering of democrats out west this week. I guess you could even call it a “convention” of sorts. I just need to steal a moment of your time to make a formal announcement. Hilary, I know you are a very, very busy pantsuit-wearing feminazi, but I especially need you to pay attention to this … As I was laying in my bed tonight, all of the sudden, pieces of glass started falling on my blanket. At first, I was confused because I didn’t even know my ceiling was made of glass-or that it was so terribly high? I mean, I’m able to vote and own land and start businesses and go to school past the age of 8…I had no idea. From my understanding, you put 18 million cracks in it, which sounds like a bit of a hazard. And seriously Hilrod? I need to get some sleep here- not to mention, the obvious health and safety risks associated with said cracking glass ceiling. [Also, will the price to replace my ceiling be included in the new universal healthcare plan? I wasn’t quite sure where that would fit…]
“Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it and the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time.” -Hilary Clinton [or some speech-writer guy]
Funny!!!!!!! 🙂
Yea I love all this feminist crap…I mean she is where she is because she married the right guy, or the wrong guy whichever you prefer. She is feministic nonsense. Staying with a chronic cheater is co-dependant not independant. But whatever, I am a fake blond so what do I know…HA! Great piece. :)N
You’re hitting hard with the kind of humor and sarcasm I like.
Point is, Hillary, it would have broken easily. If it weren’t you. I’m ready. But not for you. Nor for your annointed replacement.
We’re not ready for Hillary… we need CHANGE! Lots and lots of CHANGE!
Then again, maybe not.
luminex.. well hello there.
nikki… yea i never thought about it that way. she’s totally co dependent..what the? what kind of loser stays with a guy who cheats on them in front of the world… while leading the freaking country?! she’s like one of those ladies on Niteline who stays with her boyfriend even though he beats her up all the time.
brandon… hahah. YES CHAAAAAANNGE! we’re not sure what exactly that is, or means, or how we will accomplish it… but we definately want it. whatever it is.
paul… come on now. whats not to love? she’s so endearing, comforting, and warm… kind of like the world’s grandma or something. can’t you just picture her sitting in a rocker, waiting for you with a warm cup of cocoa?
You mean all snuggly and warm, gonna rock me and pat my head?
I’d die of hypothermia before I went back in the house.
You’re my idol
rach-who, me? psssh… i’m blushing.