Wait for it… wait for it…

Alas, the moment is almost upon us… 

How I’ve missed all of you in the past couple weeks.  I’m sure it was harder for you than it was for me, thus, I vow never to put you through such unspeakable anxiety like that again. 

I will be announcing my new website at the end of this week – either Thursday or Friday.   Um.  That is where you’re supposed to show me your excited face, and I’m not too impressed so far.  So check back as I will have many new and exiting things for you to explore.   Did I mention that every visitor gets a FREE SNUGGIE?!!!!! 

In other exciting news, I have another story being published in Chicken Soup for the Soul.  It is the “Campus Chronicles” edition coming out on April 7th.  Unlike my first one, which was a bit cheesy [ I mean, I’d never even read these books so I didn’t know what they wanted ] this is a seductive tale of forbidden college romance.  A true story, of course, of a guy who changed my life.

 

this blog has officially moved to: www.bluntdelivery.com

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I was told there’d be cake

Today, I conquered the world.   Or so it seemed.  Granted, my own imaginary world, where only I exist, but it was still something to behold.  It started with me actually prying myself from the computer which I have been diligently placed in front of for the better half of a month.  First, I returned the dvd’s which had been patiently awaiting next to my door since New Year’s Eve.

  Then, I mailed three books that I sold on Amazon two weeks ago, but agreed to ship within 2 business days.  After this, followed a triumphant moment in which I deposited my check from Chicken Soup for the Soul.  Triumphant only to me, I realize.  Then, as I was driving home, I attempted to read the book that was glaring up at me from my passenger seat. 

<—–not me, but a good likeness on any given day.

I think I’ve made it clear before that I don’t read books.  And that still holds true, except in the event I find a book that offers me some sort of meaningless and hilarious commentary.  Books which have fit into this category include: 

Couplehood by Paul Riser,  Sein Language by Jerry Seinfeld, and He’s Just Not That Into You by [whatever guy helped write Sex and the City].  That’s about it.  Of all the stacks of amazing books that I own, these are the only ones I have actually cracked open.  Add to that list: I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley.   With a title like that, you can imagine why I was willing to risk my life  [and the lives of several others] today in order to read the first paragraph.

Exciting things happening in the Elephant’s life these days.  New clients, a new business on the rise, and most excitingly I’m starting to take this whole book writing thing more seriously.  The problem is with creative people is that we have TOO many ideas.  Know what I mean?  The thought of choosing one, just one measley little topic to write a book on is the most daunting challenge I can imagine.  Which is exactly why I’m not doing it.  I’ve come to the conclusion that my book will be:  a) non-fiction of course;  b) non-serious of course;  c) either short stories or essays compiled with some cohesive theme.   Choosing that theme will probably take another couple years… yea. 

 

Okay, so I really didn’t get anywhere today.

www.wordsbybrit.com

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Don’t buy crap from China

I’m glad you tuned in tonight, I have alot of important news coming your way – including the results of your poll.  This is a special moment in The Daily Elephant history as we’ve crossed over the 20k visitor mark in less than six months.  You know what this means right?  Oh, you don’t.  Well, I was hoping you would because I haven’t a clue.  Anyway, it seems like we should celebrate, so I’d like to say a big thank you to all my avid readers (uh, brandon?)  and random visitors who are but innocent bystanders of my opinionated ramblings.  Oh yes, and while we’re popping the champagne corks I might just mention that a non-fiction story I wrote is being published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Resolution, in stores this Dec. 23!

YOUR POLL ANALYSIS: Last week, I conducted an extremely scientific, double blind poll, regarding the “real issues” of election 08.  Your results are as follows:  33% (the majority) of you feel that college is a freaking waste of time and money because you still don’t acquire any real life experience, thus have to waste you time in a dead end job so you can work your way up.  26% of you believe, despite what environmentalists are telling us,  that we are actually more important than polar bears.  22% still can’t wrap their minds around how Rosie O’Donell is still allowed to live here, and finally 19% are dumbfounded by the educational system.

Of all the topics that the general public of this fine planet have handed me on a golden platter with a side of cheesy potatoes to devour and criticize… I feel this monumental blog should be an extra special one.  Therefore, I must search my soul to find the one quagmire has driven me completely witless.  What ever shall it be?

. . . . . let me sleep on it.

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